Communicating with your spouse

I fail at this almost all the time, it's not easy to do. We all want our spouses to know what we want, right? Sorry, but that just doesn't happen. You can nag and bitch about it and eventually get your husband to be a puppy that comes when you call and know when you will start up on him, but is that what you want in marriage? A puppy? If you want a puppy, then get a puppy! Your spouse is an equal partner. I hate the expression "you wear the pants in the family". Marriage shouldn't be like that. There's not a boss in marriage. It is a partnership. Partners make decisions together, they talk to each other, they say what they need from each other, they give of themselves to the other and they respect each other. 

Back to communicating. I'm not talking about telling each other how you feel in the heat of the moment, when you're angry and want to tell your spouse everything that is bothering you about them. I'm talking about finding that time when your spouse is open to talking about problems that need to be fixed, in a happy environment, maybe go to dinner just the two of you, so that you don't have distractions like children that can stress you out. Always tell your spouse what you appreciate about them, your spouse doesn't want to hear all negatives, that will shut them down and you will get nowhere. My husband and I sat down and talked for an hour or two when we were at our lowest point in our marriage, and we went back and forth on things we appreciated and things we wanted fixed. We were building the foundation to our new life together. It's not easy hearing what I was doing wrong, but I learned a lot that night and vowed to fix my shortcomings and he did the same. Instead of giving him the silent treatment, which is so easy to do when you're a woman, I tell him what I'm mad about. Sometimes I do it in anger, which is not the best approach, but at least I'm communicating and that will lead to resolve a lot faster than not speaking to your spouse. 

Men want to feel respected, women want to feel adored. Once you find that balance, there's not much that can separate you. When my husband looks at me with adoration, I feel like the only woman in the world and I feel like I am a treasure! That's the same as God's love for us, we are His treasure, doesn't that make you feel good to know that someone treasures you?