Joshua 1:9
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
This is my favorite verse in the Bible. God commands us to be strong and have courage. He is always with us. We can't hide from him, we are never alone, we can always turn to Him, no matter what!
I have problems with anxiety. It's not debilitating, but it causes a lot of problems for me. I'm a "worry-wart". I'm learning to turn to God when I'm anxious. It is caused by so many things in my life not going the way I planned. Now I think the worst in most situations. Some examples: Everytime I go hunting I think I'll be shot. Everytime the kids play in the front yard, I think they'll get hit by a car. Everytime I'm in the car, I think an accident could happen, especially when it's snowing outside and the roads are slippery. I do not like snow. Everytime I'm in a public place where there are a lot of people and I'm trapped in the middle row, sitting watching something like a ballet or a movie or a race, I feel trapped and get nauseous and light-headed and worry I'll faint in front of a large crowd. It makes me want to go to my car by myself and hide out, so that I can breathe.
These are times when I need to pray to God and say this verse to myself and conquer this anxiety. I need to be strong! I need to have courage! I need to block the negative thoughts that invade me whenever I'm not at home. I don't want to become a homebody that never leaves the house because I'm too scared. That's not a good life! That's what the devil wants. I need to pray and pray some more. That's my New Years Resolution!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, December 29, 2014
Respecting your husband - it's a big deal!!!!
Respect is a big deal to a husband, it's almost big enough to make or break a marriage. Husbands do not want to feel belittled, or not good enough, or not able to provide. These things will tear a man apart.
Ways to respect your husband:
1. Let him provide for your family if he is able. If he makes enough money for you and the kids to live off, be home with the kids, make your home a happy place to come home from work to. There's nothing wrong with adding income to the budget if you can, but he is the breadwinner, the bacon bringer, the provider.
2. Respect his reputation. Do not talk badly about your husband to others, either behind his back or in front of him. Don't tear him down, brag about him! Do you know how good he'll feel about you if he hears you say nice things about him instead of bad? He will feel on top of the world! This also includes your children, they should look up to their daddy in a way all children should, with respect and love, like he can do no wrong, just like the way we all look at God, our Father.
3. Your attitude matters. A respectful attitude can go a long way. When you show an attitude of respect towards him no matter what he's doing or how he's acting, he'll think twice about how he's treating you. Love him, even when he's not being loving, serve him, even when he's not appreciative. Listen to him, even when you have other things on your mind. Be attentive to his needs, even if you're tired.
Do these things and I guarantee your husband will respond in a good way. It's such a simple fix if you think about it, but respect tends to fade away in a marriage, why is that? Work on respect for your husband every day and pretty soon it will become second nature again.
Ways to respect your husband:
1. Let him provide for your family if he is able. If he makes enough money for you and the kids to live off, be home with the kids, make your home a happy place to come home from work to. There's nothing wrong with adding income to the budget if you can, but he is the breadwinner, the bacon bringer, the provider.
2. Respect his reputation. Do not talk badly about your husband to others, either behind his back or in front of him. Don't tear him down, brag about him! Do you know how good he'll feel about you if he hears you say nice things about him instead of bad? He will feel on top of the world! This also includes your children, they should look up to their daddy in a way all children should, with respect and love, like he can do no wrong, just like the way we all look at God, our Father.
3. Your attitude matters. A respectful attitude can go a long way. When you show an attitude of respect towards him no matter what he's doing or how he's acting, he'll think twice about how he's treating you. Love him, even when he's not being loving, serve him, even when he's not appreciative. Listen to him, even when you have other things on your mind. Be attentive to his needs, even if you're tired.
Do these things and I guarantee your husband will respond in a good way. It's such a simple fix if you think about it, but respect tends to fade away in a marriage, why is that? Work on respect for your husband every day and pretty soon it will become second nature again.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Communicating with your spouse
I fail at this almost all the time, it's not easy to do. We all want our spouses to know what we want, right? Sorry, but that just doesn't happen. You can nag and bitch about it and eventually get your husband to be a puppy that comes when you call and know when you will start up on him, but is that what you want in marriage? A puppy? If you want a puppy, then get a puppy! Your spouse is an equal partner. I hate the expression "you wear the pants in the family". Marriage shouldn't be like that. There's not a boss in marriage. It is a partnership. Partners make decisions together, they talk to each other, they say what they need from each other, they give of themselves to the other and they respect each other.
Back to communicating. I'm not talking about telling each other how you feel in the heat of the moment, when you're angry and want to tell your spouse everything that is bothering you about them. I'm talking about finding that time when your spouse is open to talking about problems that need to be fixed, in a happy environment, maybe go to dinner just the two of you, so that you don't have distractions like children that can stress you out. Always tell your spouse what you appreciate about them, your spouse doesn't want to hear all negatives, that will shut them down and you will get nowhere. My husband and I sat down and talked for an hour or two when we were at our lowest point in our marriage, and we went back and forth on things we appreciated and things we wanted fixed. We were building the foundation to our new life together. It's not easy hearing what I was doing wrong, but I learned a lot that night and vowed to fix my shortcomings and he did the same. Instead of giving him the silent treatment, which is so easy to do when you're a woman, I tell him what I'm mad about. Sometimes I do it in anger, which is not the best approach, but at least I'm communicating and that will lead to resolve a lot faster than not speaking to your spouse.
Men want to feel respected, women want to feel adored. Once you find that balance, there's not much that can separate you. When my husband looks at me with adoration, I feel like the only woman in the world and I feel like I am a treasure! That's the same as God's love for us, we are His treasure, doesn't that make you feel good to know that someone treasures you?
Back to communicating. I'm not talking about telling each other how you feel in the heat of the moment, when you're angry and want to tell your spouse everything that is bothering you about them. I'm talking about finding that time when your spouse is open to talking about problems that need to be fixed, in a happy environment, maybe go to dinner just the two of you, so that you don't have distractions like children that can stress you out. Always tell your spouse what you appreciate about them, your spouse doesn't want to hear all negatives, that will shut them down and you will get nowhere. My husband and I sat down and talked for an hour or two when we were at our lowest point in our marriage, and we went back and forth on things we appreciated and things we wanted fixed. We were building the foundation to our new life together. It's not easy hearing what I was doing wrong, but I learned a lot that night and vowed to fix my shortcomings and he did the same. Instead of giving him the silent treatment, which is so easy to do when you're a woman, I tell him what I'm mad about. Sometimes I do it in anger, which is not the best approach, but at least I'm communicating and that will lead to resolve a lot faster than not speaking to your spouse.
Men want to feel respected, women want to feel adored. Once you find that balance, there's not much that can separate you. When my husband looks at me with adoration, I feel like the only woman in the world and I feel like I am a treasure! That's the same as God's love for us, we are His treasure, doesn't that make you feel good to know that someone treasures you?
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Loss
You can lose a loved one to death, you can lose a spouse to divorce, or you can lose a part of yourself because of change. Loss is never easy no matter what kind of loss you experience. When you lose a loved one it is only painful for you, your loved one has moved on to their heavenly life, they are experiencing great joy and happiness! God has called them home! When you lose your child, it's so hard to understand why this would happen. And I'm here to tell you I don't have the answers, I still don't understand why I lost so many babies. Why did my friends lose their 4 year old in a car accident? Only God knows. The only comfort I have and they have is that those precious children are playing at Jesus' feet and He is watching over them. Those precious children of ours are in Heaven and have no pain, no sorrow, no worries! And I am promised by God that I will see my son Joshua one day when it's my time to go there. What a day that will be!
Some may say I've been jaded by all these experiences I have been through. I say God has made me stronger, He changed me, but for the better. I have become courageous. I'd rather be this person than someone who doesn't know about troubles in life. How could I help others then? When things in your life change, and you have God, those changes will always be for the better, even if it doesn't seem like it at first! When you experience loss, God will give you something better! When you lose a loved one, God is giving them something better! God is good all the time!
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Selflessness
Let's talk about selflessness. This is the only way you can make your marriage good. When you meet your spouses needs, you make them happy, when they are happy, they will then meet your needs. It is a full circle of goodness and love. When we are selfish, we only care about our own needs, and in turn your spouse won't meet your needs and communication shuts down and you are miserable. Selfishness is the enemy of marriage.
Find something that your spouse appreciates, for me it is when chores are done at our house. When my spouse does a chore without being prompted, I appreciate that so much that my love overflows. He gave me his time to make me happy, time is something you can never get back, that is a selfless deed he did for me.
My spouse appreciates physical intimacy, when I give up my time to meet his needs, even when I'm tired, his love overflows. It's all about showing your love and respect for your spouse by meeting their needs and giving of yourself for them even if you don't want to.
Love is...selfless
Life is hard
Life is hard. It's hard work, sometimes just breathing can be hard, getting out of bed in the morning, facing the day, the memories of loss creeping back into your head as you wake up and have your first cup of coffee.
I'm here today to tell you that you have courage, deep in your heart, even if you don't feel it, even if you don't want it, it's there. God put it there. God will give you the courage to face your days.
I have seen my courage from time to time, some days I don't need it, but it's always there, popping up when needed. I have lost the most precious things in this world....children. I've faced 4 miscarriages and the loss of a little boy in my womb because of a stupid disease. He grew in my belly with an extra 18th chromosome, called Edwards Syndrome, or Trisomy-18. I needed courage to pick myself off the floor and keep on living and keep trying to start a family. My husband gave me courage by not giving up either.
I came down with a scary virus that left me unable to walk, my muscles shaking instead of giving me strength, bedridden and scared. Even though I never received a diagnosis, I took steroids, turned to God and had courage to try to and beat it, and I did.
Also, I lost the love of my husband, I was becoming too selfish, never giving, only taking and eventually ran out of things to take. I took out my courage and decided to fix myself. I was scared again, scared of losing my other half, scared of what the future would hold but God was with me then and showed me the way. Selfishness is the enemy of marriage.
When I think life is hard, I turn to this quote and understand why bad things happen,"Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble, cause he doesn't want them turning to God." (from God's Not Dead). God allows these things to happen because He wants us to turn to Him. I have an eternal life to look forward to, why would I want an easy 90 years on this earth? That's nothing compared to forever!
I'm here today to tell you that you have courage, deep in your heart, even if you don't feel it, even if you don't want it, it's there. God put it there. God will give you the courage to face your days.
I have seen my courage from time to time, some days I don't need it, but it's always there, popping up when needed. I have lost the most precious things in this world....children. I've faced 4 miscarriages and the loss of a little boy in my womb because of a stupid disease. He grew in my belly with an extra 18th chromosome, called Edwards Syndrome, or Trisomy-18. I needed courage to pick myself off the floor and keep on living and keep trying to start a family. My husband gave me courage by not giving up either.
I came down with a scary virus that left me unable to walk, my muscles shaking instead of giving me strength, bedridden and scared. Even though I never received a diagnosis, I took steroids, turned to God and had courage to try to and beat it, and I did.
Also, I lost the love of my husband, I was becoming too selfish, never giving, only taking and eventually ran out of things to take. I took out my courage and decided to fix myself. I was scared again, scared of losing my other half, scared of what the future would hold but God was with me then and showed me the way. Selfishness is the enemy of marriage.
When I think life is hard, I turn to this quote and understand why bad things happen,"Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble, cause he doesn't want them turning to God." (from God's Not Dead). God allows these things to happen because He wants us to turn to Him. I have an eternal life to look forward to, why would I want an easy 90 years on this earth? That's nothing compared to forever!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)